Jeri k Tory Conklin

Accepting Praise

 

How do you react when someone compliments you? How do you respond in return? How does it make you feel?

 

I have never been one to accept a compliment or praise with grace or gratefulness. I was brought up to believe that while a compliment or praise was nice to hear, one should never let it go to their head or brag about same.

Seventy-two years later I received a compliment about my writing that struck a chord I didn’t know existed. I didn’t immediately react – I may have said “Thank you” as I always do. Most likely, as with all the others I have received in the past couple of years, I just acknowledged it, and tucked it away in the “Compliments” file drawer in my mind for the time being. After all, I didn’t want to be egotistical or brag about myself.

A Compliment About My Writing

But this time, the compliment wouldn’t let me do that. Perhaps because it came from a person I greatly respected. If he said something was good, it was good! I had asked him to review my current book: When Spirits Speak: A Gathering of Heroes – Stories of U.S. Soldiers – the Cost of Freedom (2nd Edition – 10th Anniversary). I wasn’t sure what to expect from him, or where he might stand on my style or subject of writing. I did know that whatever he wrote, it would be golden.

When my friend called and said he was genuinely surprised at how really impressed he was with my writing, I was shocked. I wasn’t expecting that much of a compliment. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t just tuck it away as I normally did. It felt right and I felt a tiny space open up to let his words sink in. I wanted to shout it from the rooftops; I wanted to contact all my friends and tell them someone thought my writing was good. Still, I couldn’t.

accepting praise,compliments,respond

In fact, I laughed at myself, remembering, earlier in the week I had sent several emails complimenting another local author on her amazing book and how much of an impact it had on me. Like me, she couldn’t see her own worth.

My publisher Lizzy had said I wrote well, I thought she was just being nice. Sadly, only a few of my friends had made any comments at all. People I didn’t know, but had read my books, complimented me, I thanked them, and just tucked their kind words away. But the hole was opening to let other compliments and words of praise in.

I was asked to write a synopsis, an author’s bio, and several other pieces to be used in promotion of my books. I froze. What was I going to say that wouldn’t sound like bragging? I didn’t feel I had arrived in the literary world by any means. Among all the amazing authors out there changing lives on a daily basis, who really knew my name or what I wrote?  

Then one day, I chose to take a risk when I saw a story from an author I highly respect and admire deeply, whose own books changed my life. I needed his story to complete one section of this new book. He didn’t know me from Adam or what I wrote. He probably didn’t even know I was an author myself even though I had mentioned it when I ordered his autographed books.

I don’t take risks; I don’t like rejection. Wait, what did his books teach me? Maybe risks have equaled rejection in the past, but they don’t always have to – what if they equaled success? It was a reach for me to shift my thinking, but I did. I emailed him and asked his permission to use his dad & his own story in my upcoming book. I sent him my website; and where his story would appear within the current content.

Twenty-four hours later I received permission to use his story. I felt so honored to be recognized by someone who I looked up to. I felt richly blessed, grateful – a whole new range of emotions. Most of all, I felt worthy. I had made the proverbial leap of faith – I was worthy of receiving the compliments that came my way.

The old way of conditioning had passed away – it was time to be gracious and accept the compliments – I had earned them, they weren’t being freely given. I AM WORTHY and so are you. Never let anyone tell you otherwise. Accept each compliment as a sacred gift from the Universe. Share it with the world, how else will they know who you are.

walking through invisible doors

Walking Through Invisible Doors

I’ve walked through many doors in this lifetime. Big doors, small doors, beautiful, architecturally built, doors . . . some have led to great experiences, some not so great. However, each “door” experience offered a lesson along the way. Tonight, the quiet reflection of my inner world led me to a powerful realization, one that resonated with a concept from Richard Bach’s timeless “Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah” (1989). Just as Donald Shimoda could seemingly walk through solid walls, I found myself facing an invisible barrier, not of brick and mortar, but one constructed within the very landscape of my mind. This intangible obstacle manifested as a door, a potent metaphor for the limitations I often and unknowingly build around myself. It stood as the threshold of my deepest limiting beliefs, those ingrained ‘can’ts’ and self-doubts that whisper insidious narratives, holding me captive just as surely as any physical restraint. To move forward, I understood I had to consciously choose to perceive this door not as an unyielding obstacle, but as a construct of my own mind, a perception I held onto through habit and fear. Stepping over its invisible threshold required a shift in belief, an active argument for my potential rather than a resignation to my perceived restrictions. It was a moment of recognizing that the solidity of the door, like the wall for Shimoda, was largely an illusion, its power residing solely in my acceptance of its impenetrability. By acknowledging this barrier’s mental and emotional nature and focusing my intention on the possibility of passage, I began to understand that the true key lay not in forcing my way through but in the conscious decision to no longer believe in its reality. And what was this door? Fear of failure. If I don’t try, I can’t fail . . . or, seriously, why would anyone want to buy my books? Or, standing up in front of a crowd and seeing myself turn into my Arcturian blue-skinned self and begin channeling for the audience—“that” kind of door. The one that questioned my worth to be an author, a healer, a life coach, one who touches lives with so many of my gifts, seeking to make a difference for others. And there it was before me, standing oh so tall, that invisible wall I had put up to protect me from being a failure. My friend Meghan, the Goddess Isis, Archangels Michael and Raphael, invited me to walk through it. I have had so many changes this past week (year). When I was challenged to pitch my upcoming book to an agent and take it the traditional publishing route, which it deserved, the fear of rejection letters popped up (the reason I have self-published all my other books) . . . but I talked myself through it and reminded myself of the many kind words I’ve heard today and in this journey tonight for my medical intuitive class. Yes, I’m stepping over the threshold of that invisible door, letting go of any fears or insecurities that linger after hearing so many encouraging and supportive words. My destiny stood before me, echoing a childhood yearning. It was the beckoning glint of the golden ring on the carousel, a prize I had spent countless rides dreaming of but could never quite reach from atop the rising and falling horses. That golden ring, a symbol of wishes fulfilled, had always felt tantalizingly out of reach. But now, facing this threshold, I understood: the years had passed, I had grown, and the time had come to finally mount the flying steed of my aspirations and grasp the dream that had once seemed impossible.        I must walk through, for it is this lifetime’s journey for which I am needed to share messages from the ancestors and all those gathered around. And just like every door before it, this invisible one held a profound lesson: the limitations we face are often self-imposed, and the courage to step through them opens us to the very destiny we are meant to embrace. I walked through the door, over the threshold of my fear, and into the arms of my past self, my guides, family, friends, and you, my readers and followers. May you, too, one day, walk through your invisible doors.

Read More »