Jeri K. Tory Conklin

Learning to fly

As I looked back at the picture of Rita, I realized Rita was free as well. She had learned to fly. Lizzy had captured her spirit perfectly.

Second Edition of When Spirits Speak: Messages from the Spirit Children (2012).

From the back of my group of children who had come forth to tell their stories as missing children, an older tall, thin, deathly pale-looking girl stepped forward. Her eyes sunken into their sockets, and her long blonde hair, nothing but knots and tangles, fell across her shoulders and down her back. She appeared to be pregnant.

           “Rita, my name is Rita,” she said.

          “Hello Rita, thank you for coming forward today. Do you want to write a letter to your parents or anyone in particular?”

I want to write a letter to the man who kidnapped, abused, and raped me. Now, look where I am! And I want to write a letter to this unborn child asking forgiveness for what I am about to do. I can’t change what happened to me, but I can for this child.

(Rita pointed to her expanded belly.)

He thinks I should be grateful to be pregnant. Pregnant with his bast bastard. Being pregnant is the only reason I am still alive if you could call it being “alive.” There is nothing noble in this picture. The only noble thing is that I can deliver this child to an adoptive family and watch her grow from Heaven. I see no other options for me at this time.

                 “Rita, how far along are you? You are still alive and not in spirit already.”

learning to fly,jeri k tory conklin,rita

I am almost ready to deliver. I am still alive, living on the streets, thanks to that a$$hole. He kidnaps young girls, gets them pregnant, and then leaves them to wander the streets as homeless people. Are we homeless? Maybe we are just walking dead? Perhaps we are nothing but trash – used, abused, and thrown away for some new shiny toy.

Others in his evil web just kill themselves rather than go home to their families and face condemnation. Pretty sad when they return home and are blamed for their condition. “Choices have consequences” is such a cruel term. Why do people think we ask to be kidnapped and put into these horrible situations?

“Because the reality of the phrase is true. You made that choice long before you came into this lifetime for your soul’s growth. You made all your life choices then. You may not have been conscious of them once you got here, but in your pre-birth planning sessions, you considered all the options and lessons from this encounter. Your soul group comprised of this man and this unborn child all took part so that you could grow your soul.”

∞ ∞ ∞

By the time I finished writing this new edition (2022), Rita had come in to tell me she was leaving. She could no longer live with all that had happened to her. However, she did deliver her baby, a beautiful girl, to adoptive parents who would love her forever. It wasn’t a decision she took lightly, but one she felt she had to make for herself. Her Guardian Angel was with her as she stood before me. I hugged her, knowing she had made the most grown-up adult decision she would ever make in this lifetime – giving up her child.

My own group of spirit children gathered around me, all holding hands. Tears, happy tears, rolled down my cheeks as we watched Rita and her angel ascend into the Light, knowing that she would again find the love she had missed in the last few years of this life and that she would again be beautiful and whole. I’m sure I will see her again, she promised to “pop in” now and again, and I have no doubt she will.” (Excerpt)

∞ ∞ ∞

When I first saw Lizzy McNett’s “Rita” design – I cried for many reasons remembering Rita. Rita had been kidnapped as a 13-year-old when my spirit children brought her forth for me to tell her story. Rita had been anything but “free.” Her soul and spirit both had died on so many levels.

I stepped back because she was being portrayed as a “free spirit of sorts.” Rita was anything but that when I met her. However, as I remembered back, another memory flashed before me. Marjorie Giles wrote the Foreword to the First Edition of When Spirits Speak: Messages from the Spirit Children (2012).

Marjorie had also written a book on her childhood. She asked me to read it before sending it to the publisher. I could barely get through the first couple of chapters. Her parents had so horribly abused her and her brother that it was unconscionable even to think a parent could do to their children what was done to them. I had to tell her I couldn’t read further; it ripped me apart on so many fronts. I had to be honest. I’m not sure anyone could read it with all the horror that went on. Marjorie looked at me and said: “But Jeri, we learned to fly.” I didn’t understand it then – learned to fly. A year later, Marjorie was dying, and I went to see her. She asked if I had figured it out yet “…learned to fly,” and I told her, “No.” She smiled and said: “When we learned to fly, we were able to leave our bodies and fly away from the pain and horror of what was happening to us.” With that, she passed. She had flown away once again and was finally free.

∞ ∞ ∞

As I finished writing this new edition, Rita came in to tell me she was leaving. She could no longer live with all that had happened to her. She did deliver her baby, a beautiful girl, to adoptive parents who would love her forever. It wasn’t a decision she took lightly, but one she felt she had to make for herself. Her Guardian Angel was with her as she stood before me. I hugged her, knowing she had made the most grown-up adult decision she would ever make in this lifetime – giving up her child.

          My own group of spirit children gathered around me, all holding hands. Tears, happy tears, rolled down my cheeks as we watched Rita and her angel ascend into the Light, knowing that she would again find the love she had missed in the last few years of this life and that she would again be beautiful and whole. I’m sure I will see her again, she promised to “pop in” now and again, and I have no doubt she will.” (Excerpt)

As I looked back at the picture of Rita, I realized Rita was free as well. She had learned to fly. Lizzy had captured her spirit perfectly.

walking through invisible doors

Walking Through Invisible Doors

I’ve walked through many doors in this lifetime. Big doors, small doors, beautiful, architecturally built, doors . . . some have led to great experiences, some not so great. However, each “door” experience offered a lesson along the way. Tonight, the quiet reflection of my inner world led me to a powerful realization, one that resonated with a concept from Richard Bach’s timeless “Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah” (1989). Just as Donald Shimoda could seemingly walk through solid walls, I found myself facing an invisible barrier, not of brick and mortar, but one constructed within the very landscape of my mind. This intangible obstacle manifested as a door, a potent metaphor for the limitations I often and unknowingly build around myself. It stood as the threshold of my deepest limiting beliefs, those ingrained ‘can’ts’ and self-doubts that whisper insidious narratives, holding me captive just as surely as any physical restraint. To move forward, I understood I had to consciously choose to perceive this door not as an unyielding obstacle, but as a construct of my own mind, a perception I held onto through habit and fear. Stepping over its invisible threshold required a shift in belief, an active argument for my potential rather than a resignation to my perceived restrictions. It was a moment of recognizing that the solidity of the door, like the wall for Shimoda, was largely an illusion, its power residing solely in my acceptance of its impenetrability. By acknowledging this barrier’s mental and emotional nature and focusing my intention on the possibility of passage, I began to understand that the true key lay not in forcing my way through but in the conscious decision to no longer believe in its reality. And what was this door? Fear of failure. If I don’t try, I can’t fail . . . or, seriously, why would anyone want to buy my books? Or, standing up in front of a crowd and seeing myself turn into my Arcturian blue-skinned self and begin channeling for the audience—“that” kind of door. The one that questioned my worth to be an author, a healer, a life coach, one who touches lives with so many of my gifts, seeking to make a difference for others. And there it was before me, standing oh so tall, that invisible wall I had put up to protect me from being a failure. My friend Meghan, the Goddess Isis, Archangels Michael and Raphael, invited me to walk through it. I have had so many changes this past week (year). When I was challenged to pitch my upcoming book to an agent and take it the traditional publishing route, which it deserved, the fear of rejection letters popped up (the reason I have self-published all my other books) . . . but I talked myself through it and reminded myself of the many kind words I’ve heard today and in this journey tonight for my medical intuitive class. Yes, I’m stepping over the threshold of that invisible door, letting go of any fears or insecurities that linger after hearing so many encouraging and supportive words. My destiny stood before me, echoing a childhood yearning. It was the beckoning glint of the golden ring on the carousel, a prize I had spent countless rides dreaming of but could never quite reach from atop the rising and falling horses. That golden ring, a symbol of wishes fulfilled, had always felt tantalizingly out of reach. But now, facing this threshold, I understood: the years had passed, I had grown, and the time had come to finally mount the flying steed of my aspirations and grasp the dream that had once seemed impossible.        I must walk through, for it is this lifetime’s journey for which I am needed to share messages from the ancestors and all those gathered around. And just like every door before it, this invisible one held a profound lesson: the limitations we face are often self-imposed, and the courage to step through them opens us to the very destiny we are meant to embrace. I walked through the door, over the threshold of my fear, and into the arms of my past self, my guides, family, friends, and you, my readers and followers. May you, too, one day, walk through your invisible doors.

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