How do you react when someone compliments you? How do you respond in return? How does it make you feel?
I have never been one to accept a compliment or praise with grace or gratefulness. I was brought up to believe that while a compliment or praise was nice to hear, one should never let it go to their head or brag about same.
Seventy-two years later I received a compliment about my writing that struck a chord I didn’t know existed. I didn’t immediately react – I may have said “Thank you” as I always do. Most likely, as with all the others I have received in the past couple of years, I just acknowledged it, and tucked it away in the “Compliments” file drawer in my mind for the time being. After all, I didn’t want to be egotistical or brag about myself.
But this time, the compliment wouldn’t let me do that. Perhaps because it came from a person I greatly respected. If he said something was good, it was good! I had asked him to review my current book: When Spirits Speak: A Gathering of Heroes – Stories of U.S. Soldiers – the Cost of Freedom (2nd Edition – 10th Anniversary). I wasn’t sure what to expect from him, or where he might stand on my style or subject of writing. I did know that whatever he wrote, it would be golden.
When my friend called and said he was genuinely surprised at how really impressed he was with my writing, I was shocked. I wasn’t expecting that much of a compliment. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t just tuck it away as I normally did. It felt right and I felt a tiny space open up to let his words sink in. I wanted to shout it from the rooftops; I wanted to contact all my friends and tell them someone thought my writing was good. Still, I couldn’t.
In fact, I laughed at myself, remembering, earlier in the week I had sent several emails complimenting another local author on her amazing book and how much of an impact it had on me. Like me, she couldn’t see her own worth.
My publisher Lizzy had said I wrote well, I thought she was just being nice. Sadly, only a few of my friends had made any comments at all. People I didn’t know, but had read my books, complimented me, I thanked them, and just tucked their kind words away. But the hole was opening to let other compliments and words of praise in.
I was asked to write a synopsis, an author’s bio, and several other pieces to be used in promotion of my books. I froze. What was I going to say that wouldn’t sound like bragging? I didn’t feel I had arrived in the literary world by any means. Among all the amazing authors out there changing lives on a daily basis, who really knew my name or what I wrote?
Then one day, I chose to take a risk when I saw a story from an author I highly respect and admire deeply, whose own books changed my life. I needed his story to complete one section of this new book. He didn’t know me from Adam or what I wrote. He probably didn’t even know I was an author myself even though I had mentioned it when I ordered his autographed books.
I don’t take risks; I don’t like rejection. Wait, what did his books teach me? Maybe risks have equaled rejection in the past, but they don’t always have to – what if they equaled success? It was a reach for me to shift my thinking, but I did. I emailed him and asked his permission to use his dad & his own story in my upcoming book. I sent him my website; and where his story would appear within the current content.
Twenty-four hours later I received permission to use his story. I felt so honored to be recognized by someone who I looked up to. I felt richly blessed, grateful – a whole new range of emotions. Most of all, I felt worthy. I had made the proverbial leap of faith – I was worthy of receiving the compliments that came my way.
The old way of conditioning had passed away – it was time to be gracious and accept the compliments – I had earned them, they weren’t being freely given. I AM WORTHY and so are you. Never let anyone tell you otherwise. Accept each compliment as a sacred gift from the Universe. Share it with the world, how else will they know who you are.
How many of you have thought about your ancestors? How many generations back have you researched? I can go back 10 generations, and then it gets muddy.
The salty wind whipped through my hair and the rhythmic crash of waves against the shore were the lullabies of my childhood.
Looking back at my life this time, I realized that my dream had come true. I was working with Native American children and sharing my passion and skills with them. I was making a difference in their lives, and they were making a difference in mine.
Chino Valley, Arizona
info@whenspiritsspeak.com