If it’s never our fault, we can’t take responsibility for it. If we can’t take responsibility for it, we’ll always be its victim.[1]” —Richard Bach
Do you feel like a “victim?” Do you believe you are always a ‘victim” and it is someone else’s fault? How long will you remain a “victim” of your mentality?
“Victim mentality is an acquired personality trait in which a person tends to recognize or consider themselves a victim of the negative actions of others, and to behave as if this were the case in the face of contrary evidence of such circumstances.” (Wikipedia.com)
“Victim mentality is the belief that one is always a victim: the idea that bad things will always happen to one.” (Merriam Webster) Is being a “victim” the same as “victim mentality?”
[1] “Running from Safety: An Adventure of the Spirit (1994)”
No, it isn’t. I have spent many years believing myself to be a victim of my spouse’s choices. I gave up my dreams at the time (being a lawyer to help those disadvantaged and in need of legal assistance) to follow my spouse’s career (military). I worked during those years as a paralegal and did what I could to help others, but it wasn’t the same, nor was it enough.
When he retired from the military, I thought it was my turn to finish my law degree and finally get to be what I wanted to be and help others. But, instead, he took another government job, and off we went again – no dream for me. Eleven years later, 11 years of suppressed anger and dislike for my life and everyone around me manifested in my gut issues. Long story short, three years later, I chose to die. I didn’t want to be a victim any longer.
Yes, I said, “Victim.” See, I thought I was a victim. You could say I had a victim mentality. I complained to everyone who would listen about what I was going through and how all I wanted was an opportunity to live my dreams, be what I wanted to be, and do what I wanted to do. I wanted to be the real ME, not the “me” I was for everyone else.
A Confederate soldier named “Johnny Blue[2]” saved my life. How does that happen, you might ask? Johnny asked me to write his story. The only gift from spirit I could claim as my own was my ability to communicate with the spirit world. The spirit children would bring through in communications those whose stories were to be told for the world to know that there is life after death. Death is only a passing of the physical body. The soul lives on and on, searching for life experiences It desires to learn for Its own journey.
[2] Introduced in When Spirits Speak: Stiltbird’s Last Supper (2022) and whose story appears in When Spirits Speak: A Gathering of Heroes: …The Cost of Freedom (2023).
We are all “one.” We are all made from stardust; our spirit will live on forever. We are all connected. What one does for another, they do for themselves.
And so, I chose to live, and after three years of healing, I wrote Johnny Blue’s story. I felt I had made progress in the “victim mentality” thinking. But, there were many things still going on that I felt I had no control over. The one thing I did know I could control was my “gift.” But, instead, it directed me. So, the stories kept coming, and I kept writing. It wasn’t exactly my dream, but it was mine.
Then three weeks ago, a friend posted they were getting a doctorate in Para-Anthropology from the Institute of Metaphysical Humanistic Science (IMHS). My academic master’s degree was in Archaeology and Anthropology, and I planned on continuing my PhD in the same. Still, someone else’s decision to retire from the military and take a job in another state put a stop to that dream.
What is Para-Anthropology, you might ask? Para-Anthropology combines Parapsychology, Paranormal Science, Ufology, Cryptozoology, and human nature to understand better why some people experience anomalous phenomena. (IMHS – www.metaphysicsinstitute.org)
Cryptozoology? It is the study of undiscovered animals – animals as yet undescribed by science. (IMHS – www.metaphysicsinstitute.org). You who know me know this is right up my alley.
See where I am going with this? I can finish one dream while working on the others, a PhD in Anthropology. The first five courses I took showed me something else as well – that I have never been a “victim.” I only believed myself to be a “victim,” Guess what? I was a “victim,” but of my choosing! I MADE EVERY CHOICE, EVERY DECISION that put me in situations where I believed myself to be a “victim.” EVERY CHOICE I MADE HAD CONSEQUENCES! Yes, I am shouting this vital truth for all to hear.
I had the choice to change every single situation. I was a “victim” of my choosing! Let that sit for a few minutes. I was responsible for every decision, every choice, every action and reaction. I GAVE AWAY MY POWER. Well, guess what? Not only can you give away your power, but you can also take it back. That is what I learned in my first five courses that earned me a bachelor’s degree last week: how to give away and take back my power and be responsible for myself and my dreams. No one would hand my dreams to me; I have to give them to myself.
Sounds simple, right? All I had to do was realize that I was no longer a “victim,” nor did I have a “victim mentality.” While I had been making small steps (tiny strides) in taking back my power, remembering “who I was and why I was who I was (IMHS),” the more enormous strides came through my courses and the realization that I was no longer a “victim.” And neither are you. If you don’t like where you are in life and haven’t been able to follow your dreams because of obstacles you perceive to have been placed by others in front of you – THEN MAKE A DIFFERENT CHOICE! Look at your options from a different angle. Ask your spirit guides, angels, God, Source, or whomever you call upon for some clarity. Nothing is ever as black and white as it seems. There is always a different path available if you look.
Make a different choice – that is Step 1. Decide to follow your dreams, and the universe will provide a way. Believe that it will, and it will! The universe won’t disappoint you – only you can do that by your choices. You are not a “victim.”
And if you are saying, “But Jeri, you don’t know my circumstances, there is no way I can do (whatever) …” Step 2 – ask yourself instead, “Why can’t I do this?”
Guess what? You can, and the choice is all yours!
“You are never given a dream without the power to make it true.[3]” —Richard Bach
[3] “Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah (1989)”
How many of you have thought about your ancestors? How many generations back have you researched? I can go back 10 generations, and then it gets muddy.
The salty wind whipped through my hair and the rhythmic crash of waves against the shore were the lullabies of my childhood.
Looking back at my life this time, I realized that my dream had come true. I was working with Native American children and sharing my passion and skills with them. I was making a difference in their lives, and they were making a difference in mine.
Chino Valley, Arizona
info@whenspiritsspeak.com