Jeri k Tory Conklin

It’s Okay Now To Remember Our Stories –

I learned today to look backward with my eyes and see what was behind me. (No turning your eyes – just look from within). It’s okay to remember what those shattered pieces of our stories are. Hold them close to your heart and thank them for the lessons you learned as you grew your soul.

 In healing others, we heal ourselves, for we are all connected to the web of life.

I’ve been working with a man named Barry, a spiritual counselor, for the past three weeks to discover who I am. I am a very fractured person who has suffered many traumatic experiences in the early years of my 72 years this lifetime, as well as quite a few other lifetimes waiting to be discovered.

Imagine a mirror, any size, and you drop it from waist height – when it hits the ground, it is going to shatter – that’s what mirrors do – they shatter. Millions of fractured pieces lay on the ground. Some of us leave the pieces where they fell and walk away, just learning to “live with it.”

Others, like me, pick up all the pieces and put them in our medicine bag, hiding them to keep them safe. Knowing that one day we will find a way or a person to help us put them back together to be whole again.

The "Spins"

Barry and a host of others have walked into my life to help. I pulled out my bag the first day I met him and laid out all the pieces. I attempted to put them in some semblance of order, but they wouldn’t cooperate. There was much fracturing of the edges. Barry carefully picked up one of the sharp shards of glass and said, “This represents what happened to you at two years old, and so my story unfolded as I remembered one of the stories I had been told just as a passing bit of information from my mother.

Growing up, my mother had spoken of a time at two years old when “something” happened, and I started “behaving strangely.” I can think back to my two-year-old self now and know she didn’t have the words at the time to describe the “spins.” I returned to normal within a few weeks, and nothing was thought of as a result of the incident. Nor did my mother ever speak about it again.

Not until Barry picked up another shard did I “remember” this story. The two pieces fit together, and now I had a context for both stories. I knew where they belonged in the web of life.


women in mirror

In 1994, I experienced what I called the “spins.” It didn’t matter what I was doing, but what I looked at would move clockwise through my vision like a movie. I could walk, talk, ride, whatever I might be doing at the time without difficulty. It was disorientating and intriguing at the same time. As an anthropologist/archaeologist, I looked for the patterns that might trigger it. The only pattern I could find was that the “movie” would last precisely 15 minutes, then my vision returned to normal.

I wasn’t worried about it per se until one day; it started while I was driving – that didn’t work so well. The medical doctors at the Mountain Home Air Force Base, Mountain Home, ID, had no clue. It wasn’t vertigo, and they had no explanation. The decision was made to medivac me up to Madigan Army Medical Center, Joint Base Lewis-McChord, Washington, to the medical facility there. I boarded a medivac flight with doctors, nurses, and other patients out of Mt. Home. We almost crashed upon landing at Malmstrom AFB in Montana due to the winds. We took on a couple of patients and flew on to Madigan without incident.

 Military friends met me at the air terminal. I stayed with them for the three days I was there. The next day I went for my appointment. I met several doctors and nurses and carefully noted names and ranks. They appeared as stumped as the Mt. Home doctors; however, here at Madigan, several “hushed and closed-door conversations” took place about my “case.”

 Ultimately, it was decided that I would return in three weeks for a “sleep study.” We drove up to Madigan this time with a horse trailer, as I had purchased a Lipizzaner mare on the first trip when I wasn’t at the hospital.

 I did the sleep study, and at the end of a very long night and half the morning, I was handed a stack of papers with pictures of all my brain wave activity, etc. I was then scheduled for a “brain stem” study a month later because the sleep study had been “inconclusive,” and I could never manufacture a “spin” in front of them so they could study it. I made an appointment before I left the hospital. I had a different set of doctors and nurses for the sleep study.

 A week before my “brain stem study” appointment, I called the Medivac office at Mt. Home AFB to schedule my ride to Madigan again as instructed. I gave them my name, appointment information, etc., and they said they would contact me later that day. When they did return my call, they were very hostile, accusing me of trying to use government resources for my benefit (or something similar and stupid). The person said I had never been on a medivac out of Mt. Home to Madigan on the dates provided, that there was no appointment for the brain stem study, nor had I ever been to Madigan as a patient. I supplied all the names of the doctors and nurses I had seen. I gave the names of patients and medical staff on the first Medivac flight and was willing to bring in the stack of papers to prove I had been there. The stack of documents was no longer in the file where I had put them, and when they called back, they informed me that none of the names of the doctors and nurses I had provided had ever worked at Madigan Hospital. The funny thing, the “spins” had stopped after the sleep study visit. Being me then, it was easy to chalk it up to one of those “strange things that always seemed to happen to me.”

You all know the end of this story; I put two and two together this past week while doing a regression and remembered my “spins” incident. I asked if I had a star being, an “alien” chip, and whether or not I had gotten it at two years of age. Of course, the answer was “yes,” it had been a malfunction in 1994 that was corrected during my trip to Madigan for my “sleep study.” I had been what some have termed “abducted” both times. I am grateful that my memory has allowed me to remember more pieces of my vast “life puzzle.”

I asked my spirit guides about the purpose of having a chip and what purpose it held for me. I am a Starseed from the Arcturian star system (this I already knew), and starseeds have chips. Other starseeds may or may not be aware they have a chip. I am researching the purpose(s) of the chip – is it for future contact by our star family? Keeping track of us? Why some and not other starseeds? I was told both my stories (the cover-up ones made up for me by the star beings and the true ones) would be able to help others who may be dealing with a similar situation as mine described above.

You don’t have to love the “event” that created the story, but you have to make peace with it. It happened. It is now in the past, we can’t change it now, but we can let it go so that we can heal.

We are all connected to one another via the web of life. Perhaps you know you carry a chip; maybe you don’t. If you do know, did you make up a story to cover the apparent “abduction” you experienced? Did you find said abduction fearful? Does it bother you to carry a chip, or do you feel it is a reminder of our true “home” (as I do)? Are you willing to share your story with me? If so, please email me at:

Isn’t life exciting? We are spiritual beings having a physical experience to grow our souls and are all connected to the web of life. What happens to one happens to us all. Thank you for allowing me to share “my story.” I look forward to hearing your stories and seeing your connections and realizations as you remember who you are and why you are who you are. You are safe now.

Piece by piece – When the Picture Emerges

Looking back at my life this time, I realized that my dream had come true. I was working with Native American children and sharing my passion and skills with them. I was making a difference in their lives, and they were making a difference in mine.

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