JERI K TORY CONKLIN

CHANGE YOUR CHOICES, CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

If it’s never our fault, we can’t take responsibility for it. If we can’t take responsibility for it, we’ll always be its victim.[1]” —Richard Bach

Do you feel like a “victim?” Do you believe you are always a ‘victim” and it is someone else’s fault? How long will you remain a “victim” of your mentality?

“Victim mentality is an acquired personality trait in which a person tends to recognize or consider themselves a victim of the negative actions of others, and to behave as if this were the case in the face of contrary evidence of such circumstances.” (Wikipedia.com)

“Victim mentality is the belief that one is always a victim: the idea that bad things will always happen to one.” (Merriam Webster) Is being a “victim” the same as “victim mentality?”

[1] “Running from Safety: An Adventure of the Spirit (1994)”

Believing Myself a Victim

No, it isn’t. I have spent many years believing myself to be a victim of my spouse’s choices. I gave up my dreams at the time (being a lawyer to help those disadvantaged and in need of legal assistance) to follow my spouse’s career (military). I worked during those years as a paralegal and did what I could to help others, but it wasn’t the same, nor was it enough.

When he retired from the military, I thought it was my turn to finish my law degree and finally get to be what I wanted to be and help others. But, instead, he took another government job, and off we went again – no dream for me. Eleven years later, 11 years of suppressed anger and dislike for my life and everyone around me manifested in my gut issues. Long story short, three years later, I chose to die. I didn’t want to be a victim any longer.

Yes, I said, “Victim.” See, I thought I was a victim. You could say I had a victim mentality. I complained to everyone who would listen about what I was going through and how all I wanted was an opportunity to live my dreams, be what I wanted to be, and do what I wanted to do. I wanted to be the real ME, not the “me” I was for everyone else.

A Confederate soldier named “Johnny Blue[2]” saved my life. How does that happen, you might ask? Johnny asked me to write his story. The only gift from spirit I could claim as my own was my ability to communicate with the spirit world. The spirit children would bring through in communications those whose stories were to be told for the world to know that there is life after death. Death is only a passing of the physical body. The soul lives on and on, searching for life experiences It desires to learn for Its own journey.

[2] Introduced in When Spirits Speak: Stiltbird’s Last Supper (2022) and whose story appears in When Spirits Speak: A Gathering of Heroes: …The Cost of Freedom (2023).

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We are all “one.” We are all made from stardust; our spirit will live on forever. We are all connected. What one does for another, they do for themselves.

And so, I chose to live, and after three years of healing, I wrote Johnny Blue’s story. I felt I had made progress in the “victim mentality” thinking. But, there were many things still going on that I felt I had no control over. The one thing I did know I could control was my “gift.” But, instead, it directed me. So, the stories kept coming, and I kept writing. It wasn’t exactly my dream, but it was mine.

Then three weeks ago, a friend posted they were getting a doctorate in Para-Anthropology from the Institute of Metaphysical Humanistic Science (IMHS). My academic master’s degree was in Archaeology and Anthropology, and I planned on continuing my PhD in the same. Still, someone else’s decision to retire from the military and take a job in another state put a stop to that dream.

What is Para-Anthropology, you might ask? Para-Anthropology combines Parapsychology, Paranormal Science, Ufology, Cryptozoology, and human nature to understand better why some people experience anomalous phenomena. (IMHS – www.metaphysicsinstitute.org)

Cryptozoology? It is the study of undiscovered animals – animals as yet undescribed by science. (IMHS – www.metaphysicsinstitute.org). You who know me know this is right up my alley.

See where I am going with this? I can finish one dream while working on the others, a PhD in Anthropology. The first five courses I took showed me something else as well – that I have never been a “victim.” I only believed myself to be a “victim,” Guess what? I was a “victim,” but of my choosing! I MADE EVERY CHOICE, EVERY DECISION that put me in situations where I believed myself to be a “victim.” EVERY CHOICE I MADE HAD CONSEQUENCES! Yes, I am shouting this vital truth for all to hear.

I had the choice to change every single situation. I was a “victim” of my choosing! Let that sit for a few minutes. I was responsible for every decision, every choice, every action and reaction. I GAVE AWAY MY POWER. Well, guess what? Not only can you give away your power, but you can also take it back. That is what I learned in my first five courses that earned me a bachelor’s degree last week: how to give away and take back my power and be responsible for myself and my dreams. No one would hand my dreams to me; I have to give them to myself.

Sounds simple, right? All I had to do was realize that I was no longer a “victim,” nor did I have a “victim mentality.” While I had been making small steps (tiny strides) in taking back my power, remembering “who I was and why I was who I was (IMHS),” the more enormous strides came through my courses and the realization that I was no longer a “victim.” And neither are you. If you don’t like where you are in life and haven’t been able to follow your dreams because of obstacles you perceive to have been placed by others in front of you – THEN MAKE A DIFFERENT CHOICE! Look at your options from a different angle. Ask your spirit guides, angels, God, Source, or whomever you call upon for some clarity. Nothing is ever as black and white as it seems. There is always a different path available if you look.

Make a different choice – that is Step 1. Decide to follow your dreams, and the universe will provide a way. Believe that it will, and it will! The universe won’t disappoint you – only you can do that by your choices. You are not a “victim.”

And if you are saying, “But Jeri, you don’t know my circumstances, there is no way I can do (whatever) …” Step 2 – ask yourself instead, “Why can’t I do this?”

Guess what? You can, and the choice is all yours!

“You are never given a dream without the power to make it true.[3]—Richard Bach

 

[3] “Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah (1989)”

 

walking through invisible doors

Walking Through Invisible Doors

I’ve walked through many doors in this lifetime. Big doors, small doors, beautiful, architecturally built, doors . . . some have led to great experiences, some not so great. However, each “door” experience offered a lesson along the way. Tonight, the quiet reflection of my inner world led me to a powerful realization, one that resonated with a concept from Richard Bach’s timeless “Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah” (1989). Just as Donald Shimoda could seemingly walk through solid walls, I found myself facing an invisible barrier, not of brick and mortar, but one constructed within the very landscape of my mind. This intangible obstacle manifested as a door, a potent metaphor for the limitations I often and unknowingly build around myself. It stood as the threshold of my deepest limiting beliefs, those ingrained ‘can’ts’ and self-doubts that whisper insidious narratives, holding me captive just as surely as any physical restraint. To move forward, I understood I had to consciously choose to perceive this door not as an unyielding obstacle, but as a construct of my own mind, a perception I held onto through habit and fear. Stepping over its invisible threshold required a shift in belief, an active argument for my potential rather than a resignation to my perceived restrictions. It was a moment of recognizing that the solidity of the door, like the wall for Shimoda, was largely an illusion, its power residing solely in my acceptance of its impenetrability. By acknowledging this barrier’s mental and emotional nature and focusing my intention on the possibility of passage, I began to understand that the true key lay not in forcing my way through but in the conscious decision to no longer believe in its reality. And what was this door? Fear of failure. If I don’t try, I can’t fail . . . or, seriously, why would anyone want to buy my books? Or, standing up in front of a crowd and seeing myself turn into my Arcturian blue-skinned self and begin channeling for the audience—“that” kind of door. The one that questioned my worth to be an author, a healer, a life coach, one who touches lives with so many of my gifts, seeking to make a difference for others. And there it was before me, standing oh so tall, that invisible wall I had put up to protect me from being a failure. My friend Meghan, the Goddess Isis, Archangels Michael and Raphael, invited me to walk through it. I have had so many changes this past week (year). When I was challenged to pitch my upcoming book to an agent and take it the traditional publishing route, which it deserved, the fear of rejection letters popped up (the reason I have self-published all my other books) . . . but I talked myself through it and reminded myself of the many kind words I’ve heard today and in this journey tonight for my medical intuitive class. Yes, I’m stepping over the threshold of that invisible door, letting go of any fears or insecurities that linger after hearing so many encouraging and supportive words. My destiny stood before me, echoing a childhood yearning. It was the beckoning glint of the golden ring on the carousel, a prize I had spent countless rides dreaming of but could never quite reach from atop the rising and falling horses. That golden ring, a symbol of wishes fulfilled, had always felt tantalizingly out of reach. But now, facing this threshold, I understood: the years had passed, I had grown, and the time had come to finally mount the flying steed of my aspirations and grasp the dream that had once seemed impossible.        I must walk through, for it is this lifetime’s journey for which I am needed to share messages from the ancestors and all those gathered around. And just like every door before it, this invisible one held a profound lesson: the limitations we face are often self-imposed, and the courage to step through them opens us to the very destiny we are meant to embrace. I walked through the door, over the threshold of my fear, and into the arms of my past self, my guides, family, friends, and you, my readers and followers. May you, too, one day, walk through your invisible doors.

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